Saturday, January 30, 2016

The Vogel-Monster at the End of This Post

It's Saturday afternoon story time, kiddies!  Let's all gather round and cozy up with a good book.

I think most of us had a nice little stash of Little Golden Books when we were children; so, let's pull from that stash.  Here's one of my personal favorites:

What?  You don't remember that one?  Surely you can't be serious.

Monsters are quite scary, I guess I can't blame this Cubby prospect for being so scared of such things.  Here comes page three:

Hmmm, the story-art style has changed quite a bit here.  Perhaps the illustrator suffered a fatal heart attack at this very moment?

Monty Python reference, in case that was lost on you.

However, between Vogel-monsters and Vogel-bombs, it sure sounds like this story is getting pretty perilous.  Let's proceed to the next page with due caution:

A Cubs coozie that was obtained from the most recent Cubs Convention?  Why that's not so dangerous at all - that is, unless I consume too many Budweisers while using it.  You darn well better believe that I'll be using this as I watch the Cubs destroy all-comers this summer.

What else does this Little Golden Book have in store for us?

Ooooooh - a couple of excellent Geovany Soto cards that are new to my collection.  I'm starting to think that all of the trouble hinted towards in the beginning of this story was a red herring.  A card that commemorates Geo's surprise winning of the 2008 NL ROY award and a cartoonish Triple Play single (I love these way more than a grown man should) don't seem all that intimidating to me.

Bring it on book, I can handle the rest of this story - no problemo...

Uh oh...

There's not just one...

or two...

There are THREE Vogel-monsters hiding within these pages!!!  Egad - I encourage all National League pitchers to just go ahead and run for the hills now; save yourselves and your ERA's!!

However, the terrors aren't over yet...

It's raining down Vogel-bombs!  This sort of bombing hasn't been seen since the days of the Blitzkrieg.  As we speak, pitchers from opposing teams' home run rates are increasing exponentially due to the incessant Vogel-bombing being suffered in this story.

The shock!  The awe!  The terror!

However, since I'm a Cubs fan, this doesn't really scare me at all - Dan Vogelbach is one of our own, after all.  Hopefully the first baseman gets the call to the Major Leagues this year, without any sort of injury to Rizzo of course; perhaps he could serve as a DH in interleague games, a la Kyle Schwarber last season.

Story time this week was brought to you by Little Golden Books, the letter P and P-Town Tom - courtesy of his Vogel-bomb package.  He read on a earlier post of mine that I had only just obtained my first card of the Cubs' first-base prospect and quickly saw to it that that was corrected.

Thanks Tom!

Now, I'm all primed and ready (and then some) to add him to my Cubs All-Time Roster Collection, if and when he finally gets that call.

I hope you all enjoyed story time and beware of monsters, wherever you might go.


  1. My family had a stash of Little Golden Books back in the day. I remember the monster one, but not quite like that! Ha!
    Great post, Tony!