DisCarded

After a few weeks of uninspired inactivity, I'm back here on the blogosphere and ready to ramble.  With the mostly frigid temperatures, freezing rain, and black ice here in Chicago, perhaps SAD (seasonal affective disorder) has been the reason why I haven't felt motivated to do much of anything.  Additionally, with the broken hot stove and nearly completely frozen free-agent market, I might also be suffering from a case of TAD (transactional affective disorder).  Either way, surrounded by constant, toothless rumors and rumblings about Yu Darvish and god awful weather conditions, I really haven't wanted to do much of anything, especially writing about sports.

Until yesterday, that is.  While the Brewers threw a few logs on into the fire (Yelich and Cain) and the temperatures in Chicago started to rise into the fifties, I - in turn - found a muse.  All it took was a long, leisurely walk.

After losing my car keys on Thursday morning, I was forced to cop a ride to work.  While the little buggers were eventually found, I still did not have access to my automobile when it came time to leave.  When I noticed the mercury rising to darn near spring-like temperatures, my frustration dissipated and a nice, long stroll home actually began to sound quite nice.  So, I set off on my two-mile trek, enjoying the weather and clearing my mind - free of distractions.

Then, about half a mile in to my trek, something shiny caught my eye:

Could that possibly be?  Is that a lonely, discarded trading card, sitting abandoned by the curb?  How sad!

 

Why, yes it is!  That's a 2017 Donruss Optic football card, featuring Washington tight-end, Jordan Reed.

 My mind began to wander, how did poor Mr. Reed end up in the proverbial gutter?  It's not like this is junk wax cardboard from thirty years ago either - Optic is a higher end, collectible product that seems fairly popular among football collectors.  Yet, here it is, left forgotten on the dead leaves and dirty ground along Cicero Avenue.  Even more surprising, despite being left to the elements, outside of some caked dirt, the card was in pretty good condition.

Of course, I put the disregarded pasteboard into my coat pocket and continued on my merry way with a smile on my face.  I didn't make it far though.  Not even ten feet down the sidewalk, another bit of glimmering refuse commanded my attention:

Could it be?  ANOTHER poor card, cast aside? 

Yes indeed - this one spotlighting the recently-retired Carson Palmer, longtime quarterback of the Arizona Cardinals.  Again, minus some mud, the card was also in fairly decent condition.  Wild.

Then - because I'm super good at pattern recognition - I paused and took in my surroundings.  It was then that I noticed that there were several more of these orphaned, chrome goodies, strewn up and down the side of the rush hour congested thoroughfare:

There were some big names in this haphazardly discarded field of football cards!

Unfortunately, as you might be able to tell, as I went further and further down the roadway, the cards' conditions increasingly worsened...

By the time I got to the last couple, the cards appeared to have been sheered in half, with only the photographic front resting in the grassy area:

Was this caused by natural degradation in a wet and unprotected environment?  After all, on the southside, we've had snow, fifty degree temps, rain, more freezing temperatures, and a subsequent warm-up in just the last week.  Lord knows that's going to reek havoc on paper products left exposed to the schizo elements of a Chicago winter!

With nine cards total discovered during my impromptu scavenger hunt, I ended up with two full packs (plus an extra single) of 2017 Donruss Optic football.   Well, that and a bunch of question:

1. Did someone open some packs or a blaster of this product and immediately cast aside their non-hits as unwanted litter?  Base cards are an unwanted hinderence to the "sick hitz" crowd.
2. Was some poor kid robbed of his newly-purchases cards due to a strong gust of Windy City breeze and an opened car window?
3. Was some collector so uncontrollably excited by the announced return of the XFL (😒) that they immediately disposed of their NFL memorabilia on the side of the road?
4. Did anyone notice the weird gangly guy walking up and down Cicero Ave., stopping and stooping to pick up random bits of garbage and then taking pictures of the junk?  What a weirdo!

 Overall, what do you think was the impetus behind this hasty disposal?

via GIPHY

In the end, I had quite a bit of fun, running around and discovering free trading cards scattered all over the block - I felt like a kid in the middle of a surprise Easter egg hunt.  Even if most of the "eggs" were nearly completely thrashed and none of the discoveries were Bears players, it was still highly entertaining to this crazy card collector.  I must admit, afterwards, I was no longer frustrated about having lost my keys and being forced to walk home (the rest of the way decidedly card-less, though).

As an aside, this is actually the second time that I've come across cast-off cards in the wild, since I began this humble blog.  The first time occurred more than a year and a half ago and the circumstances surrounding that discovery were much scarier!

To conclude, I have to ask you loyal readers, what would you have done in this situation?  Would you have stopped and gathered up the dis-carded cards in full view of a busy, major thoroughfare/  Would you have kept right on walking, either due to insecurity or the fact that the cards were, erm, less than pristine?  Perhaps you would have picked them up just to assist mother earth out and clean up some litter?  An inquiring mind wishes to know.

Also, an inquiring mind wants to know what Yu Darvish's plans are...